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2013.12.01

何億万通りの発見


恋愛相手に対して「飽きる」と言うのはどういうことなのだろうか?

物であれば、好きだった物に飽きてしまうと言うのは相手に変化がないからだろう。
形であるとか、姿であるとかが物理的には変わらない「物」であるならいつかは飽きることもあり得ることである。

しかし恋愛相手は人である。
毎日違う表情もするし行動もする。 変化はあるはずなのに、である。

付き合い始めのころは、わずかな変化や違いが新鮮で、それを発見すると嬉しく感じたりする。
笑い方や普段の何気ない仕草にさえそれを見つけると楽しく思えてしまう。

長く付き合ってくると、百万通りの表情や仕草を見ているかもしれない。
だから同じような動きや行動をしてもそれが新鮮ではなくなってしまう。
そこに「飽き」がくるのかもしれない。


そこでよく考えたい。
相手が明らかにふてぶてしくなっていたり、ずぼらになっていたり、笑わなくなっているのなら別だが、そうではないなら、劣化しているわけではないのである。

おそらくは寸分違わない全く同じ表情や仕草はないであろうから「同じような」と言うくくりで見てしまうのだろう。
相手をすべて知っているというのは実は勘違いであって、よく見ることをしなくなっているから発見できないだけなのだと思う。

そして片方がそうなると、その気持ちが表情や言葉にでてしまうから、今度はそれに相手が飽きることになるのである。

常に新鮮な気持ちでいたいものだが、なかなかそうもいかないようだ。
しかし何年たっても相手を「観る」と言う気持ちが大事なのだと思う。

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