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2009.10.02

見切られた理由を知るべし

恋だけしている分には自分だけの満足でも充分に成立する。
恋愛になるとそれではいけなくなる。

自分の思いや考え方、価値観や生き方などを語るのはいいが、語るということは相手にもそれについて考えると言うことである。

恋愛の多くでは女はそう言う価値観の違いで男を見切ることがあるが、それは大抵が男は価値観を押し付ける傾向にあるからだ。
女は男に従え的な考えがまだ強く根付いていることによる弊害である。

男は自分の思い通りになるとそれが当然であるかのような勘違いをし、女が納得いかないままに折れると自分は満足する。
しかし決して相手の気持ちを思いやってはいない、自己満足でしかないということに気付いていない。

これでは恋愛として長く続くはずはない。
ものの価値観や考え方が変わらなくても、そのあり方をきちんと捉えられるようになれば、正反対の考えであっても理解が出来る。
そうすると強引な押し付けや傲慢な言動は自然に消える。

それによって女の方は我慢と言うストレスを持たなくていいから価値観が違っても居心地が悪くなることはない。

つまり価値観の違いで男を見切るのは、その価値観の違いが原因なのではなく、男がその違いを受け止めていないからである。

ならばそう言うことを理解してもらえるように筋道立てて話してみればいいではないかと思うかもしれないが、そう言う男はおそらくこんな理論さえ聞き入れるだけの器は持ち合わせてないと思う。

これこそが価値観だからである。

だから見切る。
そんな男とずっと一緒に居ると疲れるだけだからまさに正しい選択だと思う。

当の男は自分の器が原因だとは気付かず、価値観が合わなかっただけだと思い込んでいるから哀れである。

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Comments

本当に・・・。
どんなに説明でしても、ダメなのね。と何度も思うのに、疲れるだけなのに・・・。
でも、見切れない。
困ったものです。

>efu 見切れないのが「望み」で繋がっているのか「諦め」なのかで違ってくるでしょうね。

ウフ
私 その器の小さな男みたい

勉強になります(・_・;)
なってないみたい。学習能力zero
どうやら知的なまともな人間ではないみたい

相手は恋も恋愛も分からない人との付き合いもよく分からない私と友達になってくれました。それが奇跡かな。

>emu こんにちは。
たくさんのコメントありがとうございます。

人と友達になれると言うことは人との付き合いの第一歩を踏み出せていると思いますよ。

恋になると身構えてしまいがちですが、基本は素直に自分の感情を伝える事にあると思います。

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